my heart

All you guys know a bit about me by now, you've been around for a while.

This is something I've been wanting to share for months...but I never have. I guess in a way I'm a little scared to say this, I don't even tell very many people in person about this...maybe it's easier to write. It's something I think about every day, without fail. Something I love. Something I want to do. Something I want to be a part of. Something I think everybody should know about and at the very least consider, especially Christians.

That thing?

Adoption.

I don't know why I've never said this before on here, or why I don't talk about it more in life. I remember a few days ago I wrote this in my journal. "If there is one thing I'm sure I want to do in my life, it's adopt. I don't think I've ever felt so strongly about anything in my life." I have probably wanted to adopt kids, into my family right now as my siblings, and when I'm older and married, for about 3 years now, but only recently have I been talking about it to my parents. I think they would want to too, if it wasn't so expensive and if we had a bigger house. (Sidenote: Currently my two sisters and I share the master bedroom of our house, my parents have a smaller bedroom, and my brother has his own room, and these are the only three bedrooms we have right now.) I've said to myself for a long time, pray for a bigger house so we can adopt, pray that God will give us the money to adopt. I still think that and pray it almost every day. But I think adoption is something that if we're called to do, God will provide the needs.

Since I heard about Katie Davis probably about a year ago, my heart was touched at the work she was doing. (Her personal blog.) I thought to myself, that's exactly the type of thing I want to do with my life.

But there has always been this one nagging in my mind.

It's not typical. Okay, that's not exactly what I mean. I mean, it wouldn't make me money, which I don't care about. I don't care if I'm not rich, I don't care if I don't have a university degree, I don't care if people look at me weird because I spend everyday taking care of orphans and advocating for their cause. I don't care. Really I don't. But part of me doesn't see how it's even financially possible. I'd have to get some sort of job, even though I don't really want to.

I hate money. I hate the way it's a restriction. I hate that it makes certain things impossible unless you have it.

I wish I didn't need a paying job, not that I don't want to work. I just don't want to have to think about money.

I want to help people. That's what I really want to do.

When I think about the type of job I want to have (because I know I need one, at least when I finish school) I think about maybe nursing, or midwifery, or law, or something along those lines. I think about what can help the most, what can make the biggest difference. Not because I really want the recognition or the money or the degree. I just want to help people.


(This is where I pause and go to a completely different topic.)

When I think about adoption, the word orphan immediately comes to mind as well. They seem to go together. Orphan, the unfair name. But I love the fact that because of the first, the latter doesn't have to exist.

All those kids around the world, starving, dying, helpless, feeling unloved, they don't have to be that way. 

In Kisses From Katie, I think it says something like this.

"There are 147 million orphans in the world*, and 2 billion people who claim to be Christians. If only 8% of those people adopted ONE child, there would be no statistics left."

*This number has since changed to 153-164 million.

This breaks my heart in ways I can't even say.

WHY?

Why do we live in so much luxury, when people, children, are DYING.
I read this post, and for $7 you could save somebody from the consequences of malaria.

Love your neighbor as yourself. -Mark 12:31

I don't want to be starving.
I don't want to be sick.
I don't want to feel unloved.
I don't want to be homeless.
I don't want to be dying without anybody caring about me.

So why is it okay that they are?
It's not.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. -James 1:27

Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the cause of the widow. -Isaiah 1:17

(Sidenote #2: Esther was an orphan! See Esther 2:7.)

If I was an orphan, I would not want to be overlooked.



The thing that I love about adoption, that I've realized lately, is that it might be the most beautiful way that I can think of for God to show us what he has done for us. Just think about it. We were sinful, unwanted, sick,  destitute, yet He gave up His only son, that WE might be his children. (Not that in adoption you have to give up your current children.) But He redeemed us, when nobody else could.

I've told myself endless times, I wish as my job, I could adopt children, and spread awareness about adoption and tell people about orphans and their needs and just remind people that they are still made by God, they are not less valuable than us, they are just as precious. But I've always thought, when your older, you can do that. When you're older, you can adopt. Maybe your family will adopt, but when you are older you can for sure.

This is a way for me to talk about it. To spread awareness. To make their case known.

No, I've never been to Africa, or Asia, or South America (but I'm going to Guatemala in October 2013). I've never seen an orphan. I've never been to an orphanage. But this is my heart, and I've heard what it's like.  I've seen pictures, watched videos, heard stories. I know it's real. And I know I can't just sit here and do nothing. So this is my way to do something, right now.

And if you don't agree, then politely leave a comment or you can not read my blog. This is my blog, so I feel like I can share my thoughts. If you read this whole thing, then thank you. :) Please leave me a comment and tell me what you think.

I love you guys.

(And thanks for hanging around even through my ridiculously long unannounced blogging breaks.)

Here are a few videos about adoption that I love. :) Feel free to click around.

http://vimeo.com/55307071
http://vimeo.com/48696365
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iexJtB57bkY
http://vimeo.com/34640687
http://vimeo.com/31232831